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Vagin(oww)

You know how I said MLIA (My Life is Awkward) and made of win. Usually. Well last Thursday was a perfect example.  Thursday mornings there is a group of runners who meet at 5:15am to run so they can feel superior to those who enjoy sleep run before it gets blazing hot and before work. Personally I love early morning runs.  My body just feels good at 5am, maybe it’s confused, idk.  Anyways since I can’t make the Wednesday night beer runs anymore I have started going to the Thursday morning runs.  Beer>bagels but it’s all good 😉  This run just happened to be after a 10.6mile run the day before followed by a very late night drinking after I got off work with some of the Wednesday night beer runners who waited for me  really enjoy their Wednesday nights, so I was expecting this run to be total crap but since I commit to everything I do 100% I still showed up.  Once I started I felt great (I’m telling you my body had to be confused)  I was running fast, and fyi ya’ll I’m not fast.  I am a steady jogger more than a runner.  I could hear myself breathing hard, which DOES NOT happen when I run, because I normally don’t push myself to the point of panting.  I like the singing out loud when running by myself conversation pace.  So I was blazing rocking out to 50 Cent and maybe sneaking in a few dance moves when I realized I did not know exactly where the turn around point was and since I was running alone (weird I know!)  there was noone to follow or ask.  Luckily I had my Nike + and it told me that I had gone a total distance of 2.9 miles.  Since this is supposed to be a 5mile total run I knew I had passed the turn around spot.  Also lucky is that this run goes down one road not around a pond so there was no confusion about which direction this time.  I finished a 5.8 mile run (not regretting for a second that I had run extra) with an average pace of 7:40 min miles.  That’s faster than I ran my last race.  So I felt really pumped and animated and back at Luke’s where everyone else was enjoying their coffee and bagels I actually struck up conversation with people instead of turning into my normal awkward turtle self.  Maybe I was still tipsy from the night before?  So while mingling I met a guy who does Crossfit and he invited me to come out to his 6:30am class.  I was starting to feel my lack of sleep and waaay faster than normal run, but after he said it would only be a 15 min long class I found myself agreeing to come.  Everyone at Crossfit was really nice and welcoming.  I was glad I had agreed to come even though I was crashing hard-core by the second. Then hell the WOD began. OMG 5 exercises in a sequence, each one done for a full minute, no rests in between X3 sets.  After the “warm up” which was harder than what I normally do at the gym.  I was dying(on the inside).  The instructor was super nice and wanted to make sure that I did everything with proper form and so when I was doing the dead lifts thingamabobs (totally accurate terminology) with the 40lb ketttle ball, he came over to correct my form and told me to bring the kettle ball closer to my body. So I did, spastically, and swung the kettleball up right between my legs.  That’s right. I hit myself in the vagina with a 40lb kettleball while being closely watched by the instructor of the class.  It hurt him to see more than it hurt me I promise. More than painful it was awkward.  But because I am used to awkward I found the funny in the situation and spent the remainder of the workout biting my lip trying not to laugh at the fact that in one 15 minute workout I had become the girl who hit herself in the vagina with a kettleball.  It’s funny, you can laugh, I still am.

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